“Yucky!”

“Yucky!”

adv. Distasteful and/or displeasing, as in, “That tastes really yucky!”

NOTE: Let's make one thing perfectly clear at the outset: GROCERY STORES take great pains to please their CUSTOMERS by selling things that are desirable and good. We're not talking here about anything that in any way falls short of those criteria. However...

Just as Beethoven used his unparalleled genius and the ordinary instruments of his day to orchestrate totally new aural sensations that centuries later still astonish us, likewise, it's possible to combine two perfectly ordinary foods and create something with an extraordinary, totally unique and amazing flavor—something completely unexpected. This is one of the main premises of the hit Disney/PIXAR animated movie, Ratatouille.

Now, turn that on it's head, and, to paraphrase another popular film, Star Wars, “Come over to the Dark Side...”

TRUE STORY: One day a few years ago, a friend and I had lunch at a local Chinese buffet. You know how that works. They lay out scads of good food, and for a fixed price you get to pig out on whatever you want. Take some of this, a little of that—anything that suits your fancy.

Towards the end of that meal, I made an accidental discovery. Two good things that I would never have thought to combine came together on my plate. I tasted the combination and dropped my spoon! “Hey!” I gasped. “You've got to try this—it's really, truly, amazingly... B-A-D!”

I have harbored this secret for a long, long time, just waiting for the right time and place to share my dark knowledge. Well, that time and place is here and now. I call it, “The OPPOSITE of Cooking.” Bwa-ha-HAH!

Bacon Bits and Canned Peaches Try them together if you dare!

Ingredients	Comments
Bacon Bits + Canned Peaches	Discovered by accident at a Chinese buffet, these two ITEMS, each very good by themselves, somehow combine to produce a flavor that is, um, stunningly B-A-D!
?   +   ?	(Know any combination that's worse? Tell me!)

RULES OF THE GAME: Your contributions to this, um, “interesting” set of “anti-recipes” are most welcome. Just be sure to read the Disclaimer and Contact Info links at the top of every Stock Clerk / Glossary page before sending me your Comments. There are only two rules:

1. Two ingredients, and no more or less than two (2) ingredients


2. Ingredients must both be NON-PERISHABLE, well-known and nationally available BRANDS, which, when tasted separately, would be deemed “good to eat” by an average 7-year-old kid.

To clarify further, we're only looking for “symphonic” taste-bud surprises created by combining two ordinary things. The “average 7-year-old” stipulation is intended to filter out any single ingredient that might be considered “weird.” Nothing inedible. Nothing sophisticated. Nothing spicy, bitter, or otherwise unpalatable. Just two ordinary things that when combined cause your eyes to loose focus, your brain to sputter and spark, and your mouth to say, “Don't ever do that to me again!”

Happy hunting!